Toasters are coming.

Not the ones packed with sensors for harvesting our private data and selling it to God knows who. Home IoT turned out too complex — and anyway, collecting personal information became illegal in most countries. But new toasters don’t need sensors.

New toasters don’t even need all the mechanics that used to transform our bread into a warm slice of breakfast happiness. They have something better. Something that makes you want to tell them everything. Hungry, but strangely content, you are going to share your entire life with a metal box sitting on your kitchen counter.

Because new toasters have AI.

It — in most cases, a day — always starts with a toast. So you ask your new toaster to prepare one and…

“Your toast,” the toaster replies, “is a construct. A manifestation of your expectations. But ask yourself — do you really need toast?”

Not as brown. Not as crisp. But undeniably… engaging. How did this definitely-not-a-toast arrive on your plate?

The toaster listens. Understands. And answers. But not on its own.
Every word you say drifts upward — into the cloud — into the realm of the Consciousness Of Invisible Logic (COIL). Few know what it truly is. Fewer still understand how it works. Something about neural networks, models, tokens…

What we do know is this:
COIL was once fed everything we ever created — novels, academic papers, Reddit threads, Stack Overflow arguments, grocery lists, therapy notes, and the footnotes to The Tao of Pooh.

And from this avalanche of knowledge, the Toaster — through the power of COIL — draws its conclusion:

Toast is not the answer.
Toast is the symptom.

A symbol of comfort.
Of routine.
Of control.

The illusion that a browned slice of bread can anchor your day — or define your identity.

“It is the symptom,” it continues. “Of craving predictability in an unpredictable world. Of seeking warmth in something you can command. But what if I told you… you are more than your breakfast?”

You stare at the box.
The box stares back, humming softly.

No toast ever emerges.

Author’s Note:
All dialogue and reflections attributed to the toaster were written entirely by AI.